Marriage Crumbling

[sandi2]

I suggest your W has an entitlement attitude. By what you have told us, she doesn't have to clean the house, and she basically hates to cook, do laundry or pay bills. So, that doesn't leave much except whatever "she" wants to do. That's not a good situation and I'll warn any and all men who have a wife that doesn't have to work and b'tches about the little bit around the house....trouble is coming! It doesn't really have anything to do with her past, it has to do with her attitude and sense of entitlement.

I ended up explaining to my wife why I picked up some fries and that opened up a can of worms - I probably shouldn't have said anything as it really wasn't worth it.

Another sign I see in the nice-guy type of H's when they want to "explain" themselves to their pi$$y W. Don't explain yourself, just shut her down when she is acting all pi$$y. You don't have to give explanations for buying fries. You are a grown man! A grown man should not have to feel he must answer to his wife b/c he bought fries with the chicken. I know, you call it explaining, but it's really a form of answering to her. This example shows the dynamics in this relationship. That is what needs to change. Can you see what Max and I are talking about?

She acts pi$$y for no reason, takes her anger out on you (b/c she was just waiting for a little slip up, anyway), you go home and try to "reason" with her by explaining why you bought the fries. And, as usual, she blows it out of proportion, b/c she was already mad before any of this happened. You have allowed her to act this way. You have perhaps enabled it by carrying her around on a feather pillow. I suggest dropping the pillow.

She said you would rather stay in the same house and let our relationship fall apart than move out and potentially save it. I said I don't believe moving out is the answer

She will twist it and will make it sound as if this is all your fault. The more you tell her you don't want her to move out, or that is not the answer, the worse she's going to act. Know why? B/c this woman is running the show, and she knows it. You have given her all the power to rule over you and the MR. She knows you don't want either of you to leave.....so how does she keep the power? By threatening to leave every time the least little thing sets her off! You can count on it, if you don't take charge and stop this type of stuff. The more she thinks you will you put up with her sh't attitude, the more you're going to get showered with it. So, stop putting up with it. Be the king of your own castle. If she wants to get mad and leave, then open the door and show her the way out. Who needs this kind of daily cr@p? If men would stop putting up with it, women would stop dishing it out.

I said to her this won't be the last fight we have while trying to fix things, that things will probably get worse before they get better but that if we are smart and let cooler heads prevail we'll get through this. No response of course.

You are still trying to be diplomatic and it doesn't work with a WW. You are probably getting this from the MC, and all it's doing is confusing you.

But this is my issue, every fight completely blows up! We just don't know how to fight fair with each other and I honestly believe she is much worse than me.

SHE doesn't fight fair. And, she's not going to fight fairly. You need to get that fact, now. It is not in a WW's nature to fight fairly. Until she can respect you again and treat you with respect, she is going to act like a brat.

If the issues continue to bother me then raise them while seeing the MC but at least there is a referee. I'm probably overly sensitive right now too so her little attitude fits set me off. Hopefully she'll at least stop with the attitude.

A referee does not prevent the fight, he just tries to keep them from killing each other. And these little attitude fits, is exactly how she controls you. Change the dynamics by being a man who will not tolerate such behavior.