Hi Nitaf....first of all let me say, don't beat yourself up too much....as the last poster said, we do this stupid stuff because we're human....i called the woman when I first found out about h's A, she told my H she "got a civilized a-s chewing"...I suggested he let her know there plenty more uncivilized ones where that one came from....then, I found H shacked up at her house new years weekend; I was so po'd I called her house every 2 minutes for 45 minutes, then went and pounded on the door for about 20 minutes, then unlocked H's vehicle and took every thing out of it......oh yeah, I was cool calm and collected...but I have read here of other folks doing the same...some one wrote about breaking into H's house and sniffing the dirty laundry, and someone else wrote about getting attacked by the neighbors cat as she hid under the OW's bedroom window to catch them "in the act"....(don't worry, I've read so many posts in 5 months I have no clue who these folks were); moral of the story is it's a real common occurance!
I'd encourage you to call your Dr. right away....I hate to sound like I'm pushing drugs, and I've been really resistant to taking them, but honestly they can be a god-send in getting you over the hump and helping you stay on a more even keel. The over the counter sleep aids pretty much contain Benedryl, which actually interferes w/restful sleep for a lot of people....I've found antidepressants help to stabilize my mood....I've actually taken them 2 weeks out of the month for PMS for the last 2 years....they help a lot....right now I'm taking it every day until I feel like I'm more secure.... A counselor with our work EAP suggested I needed an anti-anxiety med, which I didn't pursue, but probably would have been helpful until the antidepressant kicked in...althoug I think it kicked in pretty fast for me. The sleep aid was the biggest immediate help, though.
this is so debilitating, its hard to even follow through on getting in touch w/Dr., but it's really important ....can you do that real soon? maybe get a friend to go with you if you need to?
You gotta get some sleep and some food in you to even be able to think straight, nitaf....a person becomes delirious after a few days of no sleep, it's a terrible, vicious cycle....IMHO, the most important thing you can do, just for today, is don't worry about anything except calling your Dr.
If you can find her thread, ChristineE is a rep. for a drug co, and she gave me some helpful, accurate, reassuring info..... I even got a sleep aid for S11, which some people will think is awful, but the poor kid was losing it as bad as I was, and he only needed to take 3 of them to get him "on track", this was 2 -3 months ago and he's doing MUCH better.
