How do you tell the difference though? My WS seems to be doing both. He brought up legitimate concerns in our relationship (some things I really am working on changing within myself), but is also doing a lot of the wayward things (I never loved you, I never wanted this life, there is OW who makes him *so* happy who he is living with, not sure if I'm happy with her because I was so unhappy with you etc.).

I guess at the end of the day, my response is kind of the same. Let him do what he needs to do and focus on myself and fixing the things I think I need to fix (learn to try and control things less, listen more, appreciate, get treatment for my depression etc) but some of these I can only really work on if he comes out of his fog and agrees to try and work on the relationship.


Edit - Slight correction: he is staying with her and her best friend in her best friends house.

Last edited by Cadet; 02/24/16 06:45 AM. Reason: combine posts
M:26 H:32 T:8yrs
ILYBNILWY/ "I'm not happy": 2/6/16
D-Day-discovered PA/EA: 2/10/16
Separated: 2/14/16 He's living with OW
I moved to different state: 06/16
Currently: Trying to move forward