Hi MB. I want to start by saying you are doing a amazing job, DB is not just to make a M better, there is a point where you realize it is for you so you don't stay in a limbo forever waiting on the what if.

What I think Zeus was saying and please correct me if I am wrong is. Don't open up to H circle. He didn't say don't talk, don't open up. If you believe she didn't tell him all that was said or he didn't pry he location and actions out of her I would be surprised. Also I wouldn't be surprised if he sent her over. By opening up to her about how you view him and having the conversation some of his questions about what is going on with you are answered and he gains a bit of power from that. You could have told her that it's inappropriate to show up at your place and to please leave as you have nothing to say to her.

By distance I think he means emotionally not physically. I realize there is no contact. Your still hanging onto that giant rope that I am. We both need to drop it and stop trying to hold this ship from floating away.
I have thought more on the rope analogy.

I said it feels like I am holding onto a huge rope that is holding a ship at dock. Now what If the ship is our M and R with S and we don't want it to float away, are you holding it at dock and within reach by holding onto this massive rope? Possibly. Who's to say if you drop it that the ship will float away? It might stay within reach, now you aren't spending all your time hoping it won't leave and you can do other things like make yourself stronger and a better person if you ever get in the ship. If it floats away you can still be that better person and be ok without the ship or ready if a new one comes to dock.

I didn't plan on writing so much. Just kind of got on a role. MB. NYGal nailed it. You are an amazing woman and deserve a happiness and love that compliments who you are not a life of servitude and walking on eggshells.

Did you ever start that FB account to connect with family? This thought popped into my head the other day and I don't remember hearing if you did or not

The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.