Everything will work out in the end

[JujuB]

Hi rouky

Sounds like a sure thing that OW and husbands relationship won't last. How can it possibly? She's probably gonna put pressure on him now and he will do the same thing to her. She seems pretty pathetic.

Even better that you don't seem to care about it. You have been through a lot. I hope your next relationship is with a nice guy (like shotgun)

Hugs.. Julie

[Rouky]

Hi Julie, so nice to hear from you. I have away for few days and I can't seem to find anyone. How are you doing?

[JujuB]

At a low point right now. A bit too consumed and not detached enough. I had been doing better prior. Feel like I'm in a slump and can't get out.

I worry that I am fighting to get back a person who I will be unhappy with and who will do this again or believe he can treat me poorly.

I don't want to be rejected and am awaiting a discussion regarding reconciliation vs divorce.

I need my power back, but am very down. Don't know what I am imagining and obsessing over and what is real.

Sorry, I'm hijacking. It's nice and helpful reading about you doing better though

[Rouky]

Don't even think about hijacking Julie. You have always been there for me. I'm sorry to hear about detaching. I'm not expert and there are days when I'm not, so I can really relate. How are you kids doing?

[shotgun]

Welcome back Rouky. Glad that you had some time with your family. I am still amazed at your strength and courage in such challenging times. I hope that you are having a fun day and I will chat again soon! Mark

[Rouky]

Nothing to report much. Did a lot of housework, saw a friend and I'm definitively getting stronger and happier by the day.

Problem with sale of the house might be sorted! Spoke to STBXH about it. Said that he couldn't see kids tonight because of work, and he was trying to explain why. I validated and said he didn't need to give me explanation as I understand he is on a deadline. He won't have kids for the whole day tomorrow because of work!
I'm annoyed by that as he knew he'd have the kids to look after as I was away, but he won't change his day with Sunday as he has plans! Nice to see that his kids are his priority! He knew about deadline, he knew about him probably working on Sat (his day with kids), but nevertheless he planned something more important than his kids! The funny thing was that the kids weren't upset that their dad wasn't there tonight to see them, not that they won't see him for most of the day tomorrow.

Kids wanted to wish him good night, so we rang him. Straight to VM, he didn't even bother to ring back! I guess he wasn't at work when we rang but with OW!

I have to stop thinking that he'll put his kids before OW. I have to stop thinking that we can R just because he bought a house nowhere near OW! Having hope isn't healthy for me..

Still no news if he received or not necklace from the kids! Don't know how to tackle this as if he doesn't collect it within a certain amount of time, it goes back to sender! That would really annoy me if it was to happen as the present wasn't cheap and it was also something bought on behalf of the girls!

Any thought how I could bring this up?

[shotgun]

You might have to just tell him that there is a package from the girls for him. I recognize the misplaced priorities in your husband that are present in my wife. She is really using my son against me at the moment. Probably because I have defied her and she is not at all used to that happening in her life. Oh well. Sorry to have let her down..........

[Rouky]

Wow, STBXH doesn't like boundaries. He told me that he was only working half a day, so I planned to go out with friends in the afternoon. When I texted him about when he'd pick them up, he said no before mid afternoon. I texted him that I understood that he had deadlines, so maybe if next time none of us could keep to our agreed scheduled maybe we could let each other know. I added that I wasn't expecting him to look after kids when it's not his turn, nor should he expects me to put my plans on hold for him.

Well when he turned at the house, he refused to come in, did ask about the girls presents and he said he knew nothing about it. I seek him if he could bring the kids a bit later, then he became very aggressive saying that he looked after them for the week (he didn't his sisters and his daughter did, but I drank a STFU smoothie), then said that he was working late last night ( no he wasn't), that he needed some time for himself!

I can see that he doesn't like me standing my ground. So far everything I have tried has failed! Being friendly, no baby steps, NC/ going dark no changes. I remember in DB book that she was saying that at times the WAS is really done and I can see this for me. He is treating me the same way as his ex partner. I never wanted this. I was hoping that we could stay cordial, unfortunately I won't be the case.

I'll feel my situation had come to an end and there is no chance of R. So I'm carrying on with my life and I'm going to open a new chapter without him.

God bless you all xx

[broke]

Rourky,

I'm so sorry the db'ing doesn't seem to be helping for a reconciliation. It sounds like you've tried everything and you should be so proud of yourself for trying to save your marriage in a society where it isn't valued like it should be. I hope you feel good about the strong woman you have become for whatever lies ahead!

Xoxo

[Rain75]

I'm so sorry Rouky. I'm sorry he lied to you about working and that you feel as if it is over for good. I wish i had more to add. But you are a strong woman and I know that no matter what happens you will absolutely be okay.