Your plan for Valentine's Day sounded wonderful Irish! I hope you and your girls enjoyed your pancake breakfast and Netflix day. I'm afraid I let myself get maudlin about it. H and I would always go out for a romantic meal on Valentine's Day and all I could think about was last year's and how lovely it was as I sat alone.
Did you watch anything good on Netflix? We love to snuggle up and spend the day watching films too.
Peace. Mleigh and Inpain, thanks for the well wishes.
it was actually a great valentines. Made heart shaped pancakes and we spent the day watching the Xfiles since it was the coldest day of the year outside. Oh the joy of Canada. Why didnt my grandparents move to a warmer climat.
The D's love the Xfiles we are on season 2. I wont watch the new episodes until they are caught up.
So it was Xfiles, the fireplace lit , pancakes and snack food all day. Ordered in a pizza at supper. No talk about STBXW.
I know the old her would of loved to be there. She was always the one to suggest a marathon day.
I had a hard night last night. Since my STBXW is trashing my D's reputation about them mistreating her and zero respect. My lawyer asked me to put together my notes of what STBXW did to them since July 2015. I cried so much reading these notes.
I forgot half of what she did and said. The way she wrote me emails and texts. All the dots ..... and exclamation marks!!!!! then add in all the I , me and myself and I, and I and me's. It is very angry and all too selfish with zero empathy. So I was quite down because I revisited it all . It also made me thank God we are not witness to this anymore because she is a vanisher.
Lawyer wants to send STBXW a letter refraining her from bad mouthing the girls. Certain parents she talks to to justify herself not being a terrible mom seem to talk to their kids.. then the kids at school make a joke about it to my D's . Its quite upsetting. Happened again on Monday. My youngest did not want to go to school the following day.
Sad sending the mother of my children a letter from a lawyer telling her to stop bad mouthing her own children. I'll do it because protecting my D's is my priority as a father.
hope everyone's week is going better than mine
Cheers Irish
M51 XW43 (38 at bd) BD1 MAY 30 2015 BD2 JUNE 25 2015 by text moved out Aug 2 2015 left both Daughters 13 and 15 (now 18-20) Her divorce Final July 26 2016 Last time she saw her kids Aug 2 2015
I am so sorry your w continue to talk a both the girls I believe she is just trying to ease her own pain and guilt In her MLC, she does not realize it is getting back to D or maybe she thinks that if enough mothers say something it will encourage them to see their wrong ways and apologize Just bazaar sorry for your pain Maybe the L letter will have a positive effect I personally feel for us the XH as a vanisher was a good thing While he was still here the kids did have extra pain the pain of watching him leave after a visit I remember one night he rejected our 5 year old son because tour business was going under and we all had a pay reduction they just don't have a clue and yes me I me I me..thats MLC and addiction
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
irish, i'm so sorry you had to take the step of a lawyers letter, and re-live all the pain of the past several months. your valentines day sounds wonderful! you are grieving and that is no only ok, it is healthy. doesn't feel good, but it is healthy.
sending you hugs and support xoxoxo
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
Irish, I’m so sorry you had to go through some painful memories to write that letter to your lawyer. I’m just curious, are there any legal consequences for you W for doing this to your Ds. If this is the case, I’m all for it! Anything that could stop your W from doing more damage to your Ds. She has to learn the hard way. I just still cannot comprehend that she can be so thoughtless and selfish. But, I guess it is part of MLC.
Sending you and your D’s lots of hugs and good vibes. Thank you a for stopping by to support me too.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
Sounds like you are doing the right thing with the lawyer letter. Sounds to me like she thinks this behavior will get a reaction, like her daughter's to run to her with I'm sorry. It just sounds so much like my own mom's behavior -- to lash out for attention.
I hope your girls see it for what it is, keep talking them through it. I hope your W learns to stop it.
Me 48 H 46 S 11 M 2004 BD 8/13 H moved out 2/15 -live in the present, enjoy the beauty around and within you, explore your new future-
So I am working on more than a letter now. I contacted my internet provider to get the records of all emails between myself, the girls and my STBXW. No negative, mean, vulgar or abusive emails were ever sent. I never doubted my D's.
I am holding off because I received another letter from her lawyer. Claiming she left the house with only her personal belongings and nothing else. No furniture.
Man did I laugh. I slept on a Coleman mattress for 3 months because I furnished my D's rooms and kitchen before thinking of my own comfort. My clothes were in boxes and bags on the floor.
I have a detailed list of what she took she even signed off on it. How can she not remember what she took. She did lose it all when she bailed out on her apartment and left all her furniture there so I figure she is right . She only has her personal belongings now. But that's her problem. Now claiming I have a financial advantage of so many thousand of dollars over her.
Still no wanting to see the D's or work on a relationship. Its still all about money.
W was one that money had no meaning. It was not important. Material things were meaningless to her. She would of lived in a shack by the lake. No electricity or electronics. So far now from that thinking.
I continue my path on guiding the D's to have happy, non anger lives without their mom. My STBXW will have her own work to do to fix this mess she created. I wish her luck.
M51 XW43 (38 at bd) BD1 MAY 30 2015 BD2 JUNE 25 2015 by text moved out Aug 2 2015 left both Daughters 13 and 15 (now 18-20) Her divorce Final July 26 2016 Last time she saw her kids Aug 2 2015
They leave to live a dream that probably will never materialize the happiness they seek is not found from abandoning their existing responsibilities, and probably just the opposite will happen in the end.
From every person I meet who has strained their R with their Kids, I hear deep regret
Many of them seem to leave good environments, not really thinking through the losses that may be endured..
I have no idea what my XH financial status is at present I know he has a wife 14 years younger than him, and she has a D who has many tattoos and smokes and is about our D age.I know he left behind a business and a home we furnished and decorated he left with a suitcase full of clothes and left much of his clothes and shoes still in the closet(now given away)
makes little sense But I do wish him the best and hope he found what he left to find- I think I found what I needed through the process and looking back I am grateful he is gone-
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Just keep doing what you are doing. You are an extraordinary man and father. And that will make all the difference in your D's lives.
It's hard not to try to figure out how someone could do something like this. How they can lie and alienate their own family. But you will not get an answer, so try to keep those thoughts to a minimum.
