Not sure where to stand

[Sparkls]

I'm really struggling between trying to play nice guy (give him the TV even though I know he wants it so he can play his video game with the OW) and telling him No, you did a bad thing and I've let you walk all over me since. I've been NC for like 5 days except when he messages me (he asked for a pillow of his a few days ago, I asked if he wanted me to wash it as it was filthy, he said yes thank you. I asked if he wanted to talk and his response was "if you want to", I said no, I just wanted to talk about his trip to CO on Monday and how he was getting to the airport, he said train, I said that I was going to offer a ride but you've already got a plan.") I'm always the nice guy and didn't fly off the handle when he told me about the affair. He confessed he didn't know how i was going to react and then (during a 3 hr conversation that was promptly forgotten able and said that he felt he was being fake when he said all of it), he was crying and saying how can you understand? How was I so weak and I think I want to make us work and blah blah . He spoke to the OW briefly after our conversation, and it was night and day . He came back and was the exact opposite (I dont love you, I don't think I ever did but I care about you. I never wanted any of this, all of which is complete bullshjt)
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