Right or wrong, they are her feelings and she is intitled to them. And do not go fooling yourself that just because she hasn't jumped the guy's bones you are any less over. Women take EA DEAD serious. If she's allowed herself to EA, PA is no biggie for her. Rest assured.
I'm very aware of that. They were boyfriends/girlfriends before I came in the picture 20 years ago. So they've had sex then. The OM's family rejected my WW and that's why they broke up. So now, after two divorces, OM is playing her again. She's got an idealized vision of him as her first "true love" (she's only had one boyfriend before him in high school, and then I came after OM). She is conveniently forgetting that he never stood by her and already has two broken marriages under his belt, with two kids to boot. Plus he's not serious about her anyway, not moving here. At most they could meet if he makes a trip out here.
But I get you, the most important thing is to get her to earn her respect back. The thing I'm struggling with now is how much Detachment? Other people have advised me to be cool, but if she calls with needs (fix her computer, fix her car, etc.) help her out. Let her see what a great/useful guy I am to have around.
However, Sandi's thread seems to indicate just play it cool and completely detach from her... Let her go find someone to fix her computer, internet, shower, etc.
My question is, to what degree do I Detach?
Me-LBH, 48 Spouse-WW, 48 Married for 19 years Son, 12 BD #1 - November 1998 (EA 7 months after wedding) BD #2 - November 2015 (same XBF EA) WW filed D February 2016 WW moved out April 2016
