Not sure where to stand

[Sparkls]

Hey all,
I'm hoping for some advice. Boyfriend and I have been together for 8 years, most of which was happy. I'm in medical school and he moved with me from CO to PA for it. The move was rough, he does not like it here and had a hard time making friends and didn't like his job. Other significant backstory is we've had an open relationship for the last 6ish years that has gotten more and more uncomfortable. This past year, my mom got sick and died. Right around the time she got ill, my bf was tryin to hook up with one of his like 3 friends here (she has a whole list of problems, she was in a 7 year relationship at the time which was against our rules and then her and her guy broke up when she ended up in a psych hospital for wanting to commit suicide, so needless to say I thought she was a poor hook up partner choice. As I was also struggling, I asked and he agreed that we would suspend the open relationship till I was in a better place. I was clinically depressed and frankly, wasn't very pleasant to him. I'd pick stupid fights and get irritable and he shut down. Forward to about 2 weeks ago, I could feel him pulling away, j kept asking him what's wrong, he wouldn't say anything and finally he cracked and said he was unhappy and wanted to leave because he wasn't sure what he wanted in life anymore and he wasn't sure he wanted the doctors husband life and blah blah. I find out about 4 days later after finding a social media post that him and this friend have been having an emotional and physical affair for 9 months. He said he didn't know if he wa happy with her because he was unhappy with me or what and still was waffling. He said he needed some space so despite my desire, I went to stay with a friend for a few nights. Come to find out that OW came over to my home (I own our house due to a parental gift) while I was gone. I came home and the ssssntials of his belongings and left them on the porch with a note saying "right now, I need you to not be here. You've hurt me more than I have words for and you need to figure out what you want from life"

I waffle between wanting to try R (we were great together not long ago and i don't want to give up on an 8 year relationship without trying to see if it's fixable) and wanting to just move on as he went to stay with OW and her best friend.

I'm doing the 180 the best I can (I did contact his family just to tell them he was having a bit of an identity crisis and could use people to talk to), and have been giving him space.

Just received a text asking if he"may have one of the TVs there for his xbox". One if his issues is that the vast majority of the things in our house he views as mine. I don't care about a TV, I just don't know how to respond. "Sure they're just as much yours as mine."??

Im just lost on what to do. He's in the "affair fog" if you believe in that. And clearly hasn't stopped seeing OW but I'm not ready to just give up. I'm focusing on myself, got started on antidepressants and am in counseling. He refused IC or Couples C.

Anyone have any words of advice besides kick him to the curb?