surrealism is not my style

[Nel]

Cil-
I can so relate to what you are feeling about the D. We are both about the same age, and I too have been waiting for this time in our lives to be just us again. Our youngest daughter is a senior, so in the fall I'll be an empty nester like you except I'll really be alone. I'm heartbroken that H is off on his own instead of with me.

I also feel that way you do with the D proceedings. A word of advice that my L shared with me. Take the emotion out of it and treat it like a business transaction. I would almost have an anxiety attack every time I went into the L office or got a letter from the court. My L just keeps repeating treat it like a business transaction. It's hard, but I try to remember that. I also told my H whenever he questioned a proposal that I had to protect myself financially. He seemed to understand that.

I remember reading one poster's story, I believe it was Nitty, about going through mediation. She had not ever dealt with the financials in their marriage, but when the time came she stood up to her husband and presented numbers that were fair. The mediator told Nitty that her husband was really impressed and surprised at her self-confidence. It made him see her in a different way. There is more to the story, but on her last post that I read they were reconciling.

I can tell you are a strong woman. You have to remember that we can't control this situation. I think that is one of the hardest things. Treat it like a business transaction. You've got this.

Nel