Nitaf, I think your H is confused. You are changing, he is feeling differently, he is scared. He is not sure if your changes are for real.
I for one, and not in every situation, believe that ML is good in this case. If you are not in the mood, as Nike says, "Just Do It." You will get in the mood after you start. And yes, H will feel something for you. Even if only briefly. Hey, it's fun, and you are adding to good memories.
Right now, I think your challenge is to contine DBing, be pleasant, validate him when he talks about things he is feeling, and ADD to the good memories. Sounds like you guys have some bad memories that are eclipsing the good times you have had.
Well, time to create new memories. Get that bball team over there to the house, make H feel comfortable in your house, make him feel like he CAN go out with you on a date (maybe include S at first so he feels like it's a family outing, then trail off and go out on dates yourself later after he is more comfortable.)
Do you guys camp? I am thinking overnight family trips. Something that the two of you used to like doing together, plan it alone, invite H, and if he doesn't come, you can still enjoy on your own. If he does come, that's good, you are adding to the memories that will eventually eclipse the old, bad ones.
