I just have not been my self past few weeks. It could be because I am sick and no exercise and kids are home and I had to take off days and stuck in doors due to weather and it just compiled to a big time depression...lost weight again, not sleeping, crying a lot. I don't feel mentally strong. Maybe upcoming meeting has me too stressed out or the above wasn't so good.
I'm gonna have to act "as if" during meeting. Act as if he is going to say yeah, let's work torwards reconciling. Be light and positive and smiley. I don't feel that way though. Only good thing is, I am hanging out with friend the day before so hopefully will be in better mood. I have had a bad feeling in my gut though.
I have to remind myself, that worse case scenario is he wants divorce and it won't be so bad, as it will be exactly same as now except I will have freedom to mourn, heal and move forward. I already did this at end of October.
