Help!

[CWOL]

Wow, similar in many ways to my dilemma. Although not the same person, my W has been a serial offender. Her denial was that she didn't consider an EA the same as a PA, so it wasn't really an A at all. Of course, that changed - and she considered herself free and clear the second she filed and started her PA in earnest. Although it really had already started she can at least say she's legally separated so it's morally ok.

You've got the advantage of still being in contact with her. I've been completely cut out - no communication except to beg to get into the house.

There seems to be some disagreement here as to how much you do actually engage. Since I acted as the IT person for my W and her assistant, I was helping with their problems after the split. But the weird passive-aggressive assistant made me crazy. So, I suppose I'll help, but I'm not sure my W would ever even know. The only stuff that the assistant conveys to her is the bad, and none of the good.

My WW had the first EA seven months after we got married. She was sneaking out to Kinkos to email the OM. I found out by accident when I was looking out my browser.

Looking at the email they restarted at least 9 years ago. There were only sporadic emails on birthdays, etc. but obviously the emotion attachment was there (and thus detaching from ME). The latest flare up is after OM went through his SECOND divorce. There were 211 emails between them from October to November, when I caught her.

The advantage I have is the OM lives on another continent half a day away. I heard her conversation with him, and the weasel said, "I wish I could be there for you, but unfortunately my family obligations won't allow me to leave here." So she really has nothing there, just a fantasy. He is fanning the flames into thinking she has a horrible marriage.

Friends who know about this think she is an idiot. So now she is revising history to tell people what a horrible husband I was/am. Problem is, most of them know me and how I behalf with DS and her. They know I'm a loving doting father and I am a great provider for the family. So WW even told me once when she tells people the things that went wrong in our marriage, most adds up to trivial petty things that made no sense to people. I have made my share of mistakes but none that deserves the Affair.