Sandi's Reflections

[Bfice3]

Thank you for responding Sandi. Terrific message, if for nothing else than my sanity.

Just to clarify, she is not going through this wayward nonsense to foster change in her H.

She is wayward b/c she lost respect for him and her resentment grew bigger than the love.

I understand. I can see this now. Unfortunately...way too late.

She feels he is to blame for her feeling the way she does.

This is the part that I just can't process. And I'm basically talking to my WW here...but if I'm responsible for my own happiness...if its up to me to become a better man...then how the hell can you turn this on its head a blame me and hold me responsible for the way you feel and the actions you are taking?

Her waywardness is not his fault, nor his responsibility to change her. Neither is it her fault that he has the nice-guy passivity, nor her responsibility to change him.

Yeah...just a tangled web of faults that fuel each other. I never had the words, the correct terms, but I watched this happen and tried to explain it to my wife many times over many years. What I failed to understand was she didn't want my words...she wanted action.

Oh well...live and learn.

Have a great day Sandi!