[2Times2Many]

Bright, I also wonder from time to time whether I do too much for my h. There's no question that he couldn't be living the life he is now if I weren't doing things like depositing his checks. I (and a lot of others) know how you feel.

There seems to be a fine line between enabling and keeping the door ajar. At least I think so. I try to keep the hope that some day when he comes out of the fog (I'm thinking positive, here) that he will realize that I could have tossed him to the wind, but didn't. IDK what kind of difference that would make but it does keep the path home more smoothly paved. As long as my boundaries are respected, I can live with that.

I also try to remember that he has to complete this journey and while my main focus is to safeguard and take care of myself, I don't want to make that journey worse or longer unless it's necessary for my well-being.

I think it is good that your h is taking the initiative to sort out the mortgage issues. You may need to provide him with the paperwork, etc. but at least he is fighting the fight and taking that off your plate. There was a time when my h would tell me what I should do about stuff like that and leave it on my plate to handle even though he could have taken care of it. (And then get upset when I didn't do it right!)

Please don't feel like your posts are boring. I know mine are too most of the time, but I find it helpful to "get it out" (even if it's sometimes embarrassing - yeah, I've done that). I think it helps us to stop putting so much focus on S, S's issues, our "wonderings" and allows us to refocus on taking care of and making a better "me".