I want to start by thanking everyone who reads and comments on my threads. All of you are amazing and keep me sane. The advice I have got here and from DR make each day better in a trying time.
I will post a overview of my sitch soon only really had time to start this new one right now.
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
Yeah don't talk to her family and ask that it be kept confidential. It won't. I know.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
Don't talk to her sister anymore. She will talk to WW at some point on your behalf thinking she's helping. Without fail. I'm sure she said she'd keep it confidential, I'm sure she said she isn't talking to WW, etc. But this WILL happen. When it does you will appear needy, clingy, and controlling. Do NOT talk to her family.
Don't talk to other women. You're married. Act with the character you wished she was showing. I just posted on Feyth's thread. Read it. You are being needy. Either you need WW, or you need out of this limbo so you can chase someone else. Stop.
Steer your life with your beliefs, not your feelings, or you're no different than WW and you will bring destruction to you and your family.
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
So here is the break down of my sitch so far. I will try my best not to ramble on.
End of October WW came to me and said she was leaving me, she had been unhappy for a long time and needed to find herself and her happiness again, also I needed to do the same before we could ever be together again.
Shortly after that my suspicions were confirmed by my snooping and I confronted her about te EA possible PA she was having. She denied and and has yet to confirm it totally but her actions say otherwise. It is 100% a EA and without any proof I just go with the probability it is PA.
She moved out middle of January and immediately began screwing my financial sitch around. I accept the responsibility for enabling it by my lack of making sure I was totally secure before she moved.
As of right now she is deep in the fog and there does not seem to be any end to it in sight. As much as I want it over I know there is nothing I can do but work on myself.
I am currently finishing my 2nd year of trade school to become a heavy duty technician. ( work on hi way tractors and trailers). The school is only 8 weeks long but it is intensive as far as the information they cram into you in that period of time.
I continue to get out and GAL as much as I need. I have switched my focus towards my 4 children more than I ever have and the relationship I feel we have is amazing.
Personally I feel I am already a man only a fool would leave. However actions speak louder than words and I have to keep on my path until my choices to better myself become who I am.
I do feel like I have been too open with WW am I want to focus on that. I plan on limiting any contact to child emergency which will be immediate response, child issues which will be discussed in a time frame I see fit. And finally the money she needs to pay back to me which as of right now will be a friendly reminder from time to time. I see no need to discuss or talk of anything else as long as A is happening.
Until recently I felt I was too distant and making things worse so I would occasionally make myself available to chat with WW and although it may have seemed like it helped o realize that until she comes to me with R talk it's all empty idle chit chat.
So that's where I at. There have been many ups and downs. The ups are lasting longer than te downs now it seems. I attribute that to the amazing help and advice in this board.
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
Thanks you guys. I know it was not the right thing to rant to SIL. I panicked and needed a more intimate support, a actual voice in my ear. I will say I do still hope to talk to her family as they have been my family too however it will not involve any R talk. With MIL it will revolve around grandchildren. And SIL i don't see as being very frequent. I don't feel a need to talk to them. More to just keep in touch. It will pass in time.
And yes Zeus I know that looking elsewhere is just desperation for affection and companionship. There is no need to get involved else where. I did read the post on Feyths thread. I try to stay on top of everyone's posts because there are always gems of knowledge that can be applied to all sitch's.
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
On a fun side note I had the idea pop into my head last week And I am not sure the best way to do it. Maybe someone can guide me a bit.
I have pretty much decided I want to learn another language. Being Canadian we are taught French I. School and I know a bit, however I was thinking something different. And not overly complicated as I don't want to get discouraged on my first attempt and give it up.
So the top languages so far I have thought of
Ukrainian- my grandfather was from the Ukraine and it would be neat to learn I think.
German- this one is trickier as I want to learn it. However it is a language WW had always had an affection for. Not sure if I would be learning it for me or to impress her.
Italian- I have always had a love affair with Italy and want to be comfortable there when I go someday.
Greek- same as above.
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
I vote for Italian if you have a love affair for Italy and want to go there someday. Why not? It is a BEAUTIFUL language. My uncle is Italian and barely speaks English so I have to learn some things. I love the way it sounds, plus it is def 100% for you
Try the Rosetta Stone computer programs. I think Ukrainian would be difficult but if you can learn it you would be able to understand Russian, Polish, and many other Slavic dialects from what I understand. Great for you!!
Me 41 W 33 M 2013 Suspect A 11/15 Confirm A 1/16 She moved out 2/14/16 Stepson 13 Stepson 16
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
