surrealism is not my style

[rich4j]

My interactions with my L shook me up. That fear of HUGE change in my life rather than this limbo (bad enough) almost have me paralyzed with fear. Going back to school for a more advanced degree at this point in my life is daunting. So much time. Added stress. Moving into a new place, FINDING a new place, packing up and repairing this house for sale, selling a lot of our stuff....so much to do.

I read about others doing this on here all of the time. How do you find the energy to completely reinvent yourself at a time you thought you would be preparing for your "golden years" with the person you loved? I remember joking with H after my Ds wedding this summer, "one down and one to go...then we'll finally be alone!". That must have sent the fear of God through his heart!

Sorry for the venting, just really feeling anxious right now about the reality of the D process.

Wow C....we are on the same journey unfortunately in terms of where you are at with trying to detach but can't. Your post hit home

To be honest it is very hard to do what you are doing and we are trying to do in DB'ing, detaching, doing stuff for ourselves while you deep in your heart want your man/woman. I just have gotten there due to a toxic in home living situation and lawyers making it too real

Limbo-yeah..it has sucked right? and taken the life out of you? Tired...lost weight? yup. Mind in a fog? check. Day to day is difficult....good day..bad day..cry day..fun day..check. sound familiar :-)

I am with you in the change part. Comfort sometimes is good and soothing....in life. You have your routine..things are good..or OK. And now not so much.

Just so you are not alone, I have to figure out getting new car, all the D stuff with financials, vacation with my D, my new job that is killing me and oh yea...a new place to live that somehow allows pets and somehow is in /near her school and oh yea....has enough room and i can afford. Cant find one


So all I can tell you is that you and I can't change our H/W and need to let them go. I am doing it...you can do it. It hurts...it stinks...but I will tell you there are days now I have a new giddyup in my step ....for that day..it feels good. Then a day I cry or weep like a little boy

So I am almost 50 and will be setting out on a new journey. You can do it and it will take time...and who knows what the future holds for you but you have it in front of you and people to support you which is awesome