REALLY trying to detach...but GALing regardless!#4

[- MB -]

Hi, Tyler. Always good to hear from you. Thanks for saying that I'm doing better. I'm not really feeling that way these days. I just feel like I'm hanging out in limbo land and don't really seem to see any progress either way. Just hanging out. I know that eventually things will change one way or the other. I mean, I do know for sure that 10 years from now I won't still be sitting here waiting to see what's going to happen with H and ow. If only I had my crystal ball, I would know when that might happen!

I really do wish she had never come over to my apartment in the first place. It bothers me more now then it did at the time. The comments that she made about her and my H that were related to sex are now like ping pong balls bouncing around in my head. I just can't stop thinking about them. I wish somehow I could UNHEAR those hurtful words. She didn't seem like a complete moron so I'm going to have to assume that she had to know I didn't want to think about her and my H having sex...and the things he said and did. UGH!!! I went to my IC appointment yesterday and told him about what happened. Thought maybe he could give me some insight as to what he thought her motives might have been. He listened to me, but then seemed irritated that I was still talking about H when I wanted to work on me. I guess next week I will try a bit harder to stay on task.

As for her motives, I do agree that she seems no bounce back and forth between trying to stake her claim and information gathering. And, of course, my H seems more than happy to be on his merry way with ow by his side. It's all just a bit nauseating. She did seem to fixate on whether or not we had been talking about a D. I fully expect for her to start working on him and pushing him to serve me with D papers soon. I guess time will tell.

Haven't been doing much in way of GAL lately. Seems everyone is busy these days and I don't want to go out by myself. I did go to a friends house last night and visited with her. We even went outside and walked almost 1 1/2 miles. I've been trying to get her to go walking with me but this is the first time she said yes. I was shocked! Maybe it was the first of many times she agrees to go.

I hope you're having a great day today.