Hi CWOL. I'm so sorry that this is happening to you.

I'm fairly new here myself, but the one thing I have learned for myself is that it is best to look at our own behavior through the eyes of an outsider.

Aim to be the kind of person you will admire and respect as you live your own life and especially during every interaction with your wife. She probably won't return the favor, but you will sleep better knowing you were the adult in the room.

Beyond that, I will agree with Thornton - Cadet's welcome is full of important information. Hang in there and remember to breathe.

H: 44, Me: 45
Married: 20 y Together: 25 y
no kids
Walk away: 12/15
Asked for temp separation 12/25/15
PA confirmed 3/16 (apparently neither the first, nor the last PA he has had)
H filed for D 5/16