You know I had the same misgivings about ml. There was even a point where h was dating someone else and sleeping with me! I accidently found out about ow when looking for a bill in a stack of papers at his apartment..he left me the keys while he was out of town to water his plants!
It is risky to ml in such an uncertain environment but it does provide a connection of sorts. After ml, h will think about you...even if he is considering ow you will also be in his thoughts. And despite what h says (my h said he'd sleep with me, date others and not tell me...very hurtful, and made me feel used!), ml with them does connect the two of you. When you ml, do 180s...it appears that you are now. What else can you do during that time to wow him?
Though it may sound almost mercenary, I'd use whatever 'weapon' at your disposal to get your man. I'm not trying to be demeaning but sometimes in battle we must resort to meeting the opposition on common ground to win. The common ground right now appears to be the bedroom. It will be hard not to feel used because we women view sex so vastly different than a man but if you go at it with the attitude that my h WANTS me, h wants ME (afterall he has chosen you!!!), then you should be ok.
My h told me that because we were intimate during our separation, it kept him from feeling the pressure to seek a sexual release else where.
I'm not advocating that adopting similar tactics like my own will result in a restored m but you have to do what works, try different things and monitor the results. If you find that ml with your h after a period of time is not achieving the results you want or there is a decrease in the positive results your are experiencing now, then a change in tactics is required.
