NYGal: Trying

[1313]

NYGal, I too could not possibly stick around while the W is with OM. In fact, I had a double whammy, I found out she filed and learned of the existence of this person the same day! I had suspected - but so wanted to believe otherwise. Then I felt like a total chump when I actually thought about it. I grabbed some clothes and moved out. The wrong move I now know. There is no going back, especially when she changes the locks.

I so thought I would never be on a forum like this. Only a few short weeks ago I was giving advice to photographers and testing equipment for manufacturers. You think after 30 years you're safe. But it can happen any time, and I imagine like being addicted to a drug, the longer you're on it the harder it is to kick it. Not that that makes either of us feel better.

I'm in no shape to give anyone here advice, and honestly I thought I could have a year ago. But we all slip, we all deny the signs.

Valentine's day was incredibly rough, knowing the W was spending the night with the OM. All I could think about was our first Valentine's day when we were dating. Good nights and bad nights, but we had them together. And now, my niece was house sitting the home I've been locked out of - taking care of the little dog I'm not even allowed to see.

The most depressing thing is Wonka's advice above. Because the W filed for divorce - in 6 months everything I've worked so hard for - loved, collected, built, assembled, remodeled, designed - will all be cut in half by a judge. Honestly? If she's doing this with such spite, such hatred I'm not sure I'm going to roll over - we'll split the baby down the middle.

And then what? Yeah, it's all just stuff, but it represents "us". Do I want to start over? If I do, do I want to start over with her? I love her so much - but will I when the battle is over?