Broke, I was literally just catching up on your story when you posted your comment just now.
Everything you said just mentioned about our friends/family are all thoughts that I've had and am coming to terms with. And I try not to talk negatively about H at all to mutual friends but they know how much I'm hurting. Everytime I feel good about my DBing and GALing, I make a mistake and have to start alllll over again, and I'm realizing that includes interactions with friends/family. So, this is why I've slightly distanced myself also b/c I know I'm going to get emotional and say something that I'll regret. So better not to say anything at all.
I thought about the divorce/separation support group thing but I feel like that would be me conceding to his wishes and giving up hope on R. I know it's a weird thought process but not everyone in those groups is necessarily wanting R. The suggestion about doing an activity that H didn't want to do is already in the mix so I plan those activities for myself. I don't want to come off like I'm in full stand-still mode - I go out, have dinners with friends, church, etc. But I, like many of us here think it would be so much more fun with H. Just venting. I've been sick the last few days and H would've even made being fun lol. Btw, is this me putting him on a pedestal? I know he messed up but I also made a lot of mistakes too.
"Be messy and complicated and afraid and show up anyways."
