It's so hard to hear those hurtful words from your h. It seems as though they believe they are the only ones hurt by what has happened.
What helped me get through those exact same episodes with my h, was to do a 180 and see my h has hurting, lashing out, saying those hurtful things not because he was being unforgiving but because he did not want to risk the hurt/rejection again. Though he loves you he doesn't relish the possibility that he may get burned again.
I know it is hard for you not to take everything he says and apply it to your m...but some serious thought stopping. Start from this point forward and take your h's words literally...don't read into them, dissect them, or take them personally. Take him for his exact words...don't apply them to anything else.
You are right you can't turn your h around by talking to him...you can turn it around by being positive that you are worth a lot, that your m can get better. You can change it by changing you...how you perceive your m, how you think about your h. Change those things, stand firm in the belief that your m can be saved no matter what your h throws at you or says. Believe and do what you believe.
Remember attitude is 10% what people do to you but 90% how you react to it!
