I had my tennis lesson yesterday. It was really good. We talked about it once I got home. He was there with S. I then said to him that I am not looking forward to 2morrow. He said why? I said I have to terminate someone. He said well if she was given fair warning and didn't respond, maybe she doesn't care about her job and she is getting what she deserves. why should you care. Ok, I know i shouldn't do this but I took that very personal and applied it to my marriage. Those are the same words he said 4 mos ago. I was unresponsive to him and he tried. It is so frustrating for someone to think that they have tried and have actually did nothing. He has made mistakes to and I didn't flee to my mamas womb! No, I am in no ways perfect and I have made mistakes but I just feeling really down and defeated today. I feel like I should stop pretending that I can turn this around because he will never come home. He has an unforgining spirit. He wants to focus on past behaviors. I have been there and only in hindsight because I reached for info to help me understand what is going on did i realize my own mistakes. Sorry for being so down today.
