I agree with your advice and is what I have been trying to do but I still get sucked into arguments easily although I am getting better.

My wife told me last night that she was thinking about moving into her sisters (who has a basement apartment empty). She said she started thinking about that after we came out of the counselors meeting. She's says she feels heavy around the house with me here so I told her I can move into the basement and she said that won't work because I still know you're here. I also offered to go into the office everyday instead (I work from home 2 days a week) to give her some more space and she said that wouldn't be fair to me. She was upset but the conversation went calm and fine - I guess she could see that I was trying to address her feelings really but could not resolve the issue (I have no where to go - can't afford an apartment etc). She didn't bring up moving to her sisters again. I really don't take it lightly what she says but she does tend to offer up these ideas (she brought up me moving out previously but then admitted she didn't want that to happen) but doesn't really pursue them. I take it for face value (that she means it) but by the way she words things it's like she's trying to find out if I would care if she moved out. If I had said I agree to her moving to her sisters I think we would have ended up in a big fight.

My wife didn't really like the marriage counselor and I admitted that she did seem a little young and didn't have a lot of words of wisdom in our first meeting (not withstanding my asking her). We are probably going to try someone else.

The other thing I'm realizing is that I am severely attached to my wife. What little I've read about detaching has made me realize how much I really am and it's really making this process much harder for me. I really need to get some emotional distance so I can stand back and look at our relationship more clearly. She has clearly already done that.

Just noticed your W left again a few weeks ago - sorry to hear that. Hope you are making some positive progress!