WAW - Marching to the D

[isittoolate]

Let me ask a question. Do you really want this woman to share your life b/c you love her so much you feel you can't live without her? Or.......are you thinking of the woman you want her to become? Or......is the real issue more about the attachment and desire you have for a loving companionship and to live in a happy committed environment? Is it not the security you find in marriage that you really want?

Hi Sandi - All of these things is what i would like but now I know I can live without her

I read story after story that is so similar to yours, and I have to wonder (by what is reported) how on earth the LBH would want to be that particular woman who treats him so badly. Then when I go further into his story, it seems he is fighting to hold on to the environment and security of having a partner in life. Having someone already there, available, to go with him to see a movie or have dinner, someone at home so he won't be lonely. Even if she is the b'tch from hell, and truth be told....he has no happiness with her....yet he seems to choose that option over the idea of venturing out as a single man again. The whole idea of meeting a new woman and going out to a movie, or whatever, scares him. What would he talk about to this new woman? With his old wife, he didn't have to worry about finding something to talk about.

I have thought through a lot of this since W took off her wedding rings, put our wedding photos away back in early Jan after she discovered me snooping - the straw that broke the camels back.

I have steadily dropped the rope and realized we have to split and I have to make a new life for myself without her. My energy is on my new rental, my work, my kids and my gal activities

I'm not giving any advice here, I'm just sharing what I see from a distance. I don't want to be thought of as an advocate of divorce. I just see life being very short and a person's life being worth having the love and happiness they deserve, instead of settling for being in a R where they are completely rejected and disrespected day after day. What kind of life is that? Why would anyone choose those conditions over being single?

I have felt unloved for a long time only being fed a few crumbs along the way - I miss sex and passion and kissing etc. I'm approaching 50 and want a fulfulled sex life with a woman who appreciates me for who i am

I am just asking, and I hope it doesn't sound judgmental. I have not experienced loneliness and I've been told it can lead a person to settle for second best many times. The world is full of people. People who want someone. They just need to find each other.

I have started in the piranha pool called online dating - and am getting a fair amount of attention
There seem to be hundreds/thousands of women aged 35-48 never married/separated/divorced/widowed in search of a genuine guy. I once put my wife's beauty and grace on a pedestal - but now see her without the rose tinted glasses - still a special woman and mother with many special qualities but not so beautiful - my eye is turning elsewhere for the first time in my M.