Two Wolves

[bttrfly]

Cali, I know --- I had to borrow money from my parents to get this apartment. Survival knows no pride. Your wife - I dunno - they do say that MLC makes them into different people, the opposite of who they were before. Clearly God has a plan. We may not know what it is, but He does, and it will be revealed in His time not ours.

I'm worried about you. You do not have to share anything here or anywhere else if you aren't comfortable, but I am worried that the things she said and did to you may be locked deep inside to fester. That's not ok. Maybe some IC ??? Just so you can get that all out in a safe place? You should not be carrying that around with you, honey. It's not yours - it belongs to her. Think about letting it go. Maybe you process things differently, but I internalize stuff and it's really unhealthy, so if you have a tendency to do the same, please please consider a safe way to free yourself of her venom.

I hope and pray you can find a place which allows you to bring your beloved dog.

Only someone with a deep level of self-loathing would behave the way your W has. You deserve peace. This is your path to peace, Luke. It isn't what you would ever have chosen for yourself, or what any of us would choose for you, but it's what you have. All you have to do is keep breathing, put one foot in front of the other, and trust. You know this already. Easier said than done. It will all be clear in the fullness of time. For now, just take care of yourself and your sweet boy and if you can, your dog. You got this. I believe in your ability to handle this with the honesty, strength and dignity with which you have handled all the rest. I am keeping you in my prayers. I hate this has happened to you. Really upsetting. You are such a wonderful person. When someone is filled with self-loathing, as w is, sometimes it's projected onto your partner. That doesn't mean in any way shape or form that you have to accept it. I'm sending you a special spew body armor to keep you safe as you traverse this next bit. It's quite interesting that your W is back with the guy who gave her an STD. She's been quite embarrassed about having it - perhaps on some level she feels that since she's got that, she only deserves to be with someone else who has same? Don't want to get too far into her head as now this is all about you. She's done you a favor: you don't have to wait until spring. That's why you feel a sense of peace. Keep posting as we all love you and want to know how you are doing.