The start of my Happiness 3

[Tyler12]

I broke down and ranted to her sister. I have a large rant and full disclosure that I will post when I get home.

[Thornton]

Just breathe right now, Ty. Just breathe.

Im sure your body is pumping adrenaline. Slow your breathing. We're here when you need us buddy.

[Tyler12]

I just don't know what to do anymore this whole situation tonight as totally rocked me. I vented to her sister that you know it was unbelievable to me and she said that she's just trying to get a reaction out of me I don't understand why she would want a reaction out of me her sister said she craves attention and she's just putting on a show because it's not all happiness over there not that she's talk to her in a long time.

[broke]

How did you handle in front of OM and your WW?

[Thornton]

Yeah, that was a classless move by W. Don't sink to he level, Ty. Its a setup. Let it go.

You will need to draw on your inner strength to not react. Plus your kids are watching. Show them how a real man handles these things.

[broke]

Agree with Thornton. I hope you were able to be calm. I know I prob would not be and it's completely understandable if you weren't. Be the better person. Your kids will remember and appreciate someday.

[G8r]

So sorry to hear that. I feel ill thinking about your situation. She showed a complete lack of respect not only for you but your boys as well. We're you able to fake your way through the ordeal? Are you able to hold your head high? Might not feel good now but those things will definitely make you feel better tomorrow or the next day.

[Tyler12]

Hey, sorry it was so long since my melt down, i have been home for awhile but was talking to sister in law, it started with ranting but we ended up chatting about our lives and kids and everything for over 3 hours, it was nice to just talk to someone.

Anyway, so the drop off. I handled it well, i hugged my boys like it was the last time i ever would, not that it is, but you never know. And i dont want to ever feel like i half a$$ed it with them. they had to be woke up to move their car seats over, but i focused on them. When they were moved over W tried to engage me in conversation and i didnt bother. She made a comment about it being cold out, i said not really i find it pretty nice for the middle of feb. but i need to get going have a safe drive. Got in my vehicle and left.

Then the tears started and i had to talk to someone. Sis in law reassured me she is putting on a fake face, acting like everything is all happy when its not. That she is just trying to get a reaction out of me.

I asked why she would bother, and was told because thats who she is, she needs attention all the time. Sis, told me to what you all have and i have been doing, dont linger on it and think bigger, focus on doing things you want.

I planned on going to the gym tonight to burn off some steam but just chatting with someone about their lives and laughing at jokes and happenings was therapudic too.

Its late now so im off to bed.

Thanks again for the support everyone

[- MB -]

. For me I see it as a massive cable of a rope, the type that would tie a ship to the docks. Big enough you could walk up it if you wanted. That made me realize how large of an attachment I have and if I think what I am holding onto is so massive how could I possibly expect to hold that rope up?

Tyler, DROP THE ROPE, that's MY rope! Lol. I seem to envision the same exact kind of rope you are. It's definitely weighing me down. I can honestly say that since ow was here visiting with me, I am definitely more detached and feel more at peace than I have since BD. Seems odd that such a painful event would somehow make me feel better. I guess I could just be numb inside again and just not feeling the pain, but this feels different. I know that it may not stick this time, but maybe it will make it easier to get this feeling back again and, who knows, maybe someday I can keep it for good.

I really liked your last post. You seem to really growing and are so in touch with your feelings and emotions. Of course you're not completely detached yet. You love this woman and were committed to your marriage. There would be something wrong with you if you could just let go at will without having to go through all of the pain and hard work. You are well on your way though. If your wife were smart, she'd turn around and look for you now because it won't be long before you're gone and actually move on. Keep up the great work!

[- MB -]

I meant that I liked your post on the 15th about the rope, not your last post because I haven't even gotten that far yet. Forgot that I have worked the last 2 days and am behind in my reading.