Floating along,,,,

[Di-mond]

Hey everyone,

Made it through Valentines and Family day holiday (a new holiday in Ontario,Canada to break up the month).

I saw Deadpool with H last night. Great movie, very funny adult humour.

So, my life is chugging along. I'm really not certain where I want my R with my H to go. I love him, but really, right now don't want to live with him the way he is. He has to figure himself out, figure out if he can actually compromise and put someone else's needs ahead of his own or at least on par with his.

Now, I'm going in the opposite direction. For so long I put others needs ahead of mine that now I really don't want to. It's nice to only have to worry and think about myself. Don't get me wrong, I have not turned into an evil, selfish bit*h. I still care about others and enjoy doing things for the ones I love, including my H. But, if I don't want to, or don't feel up to it, I just remove myself from the situation and go to my sanctuary (my still new to me apartment). I'm comfortable there,

H and I had a bit of an R talk today. He opened up about some of his feelings. He still hopes that one day we can live together again and that he is not ready for not having me in his life. Patience, patience. Bit by bit he opens up. I just have to let him be. On the other hand, I don't know if I want to continue in a marriage like this. This is not what I wanted in an M or at least thought I did. Right now I don't want to make any decisions about our R either. Just kind of floating along.....