What the heck is this?

[2Times2Many]

Thank you, bttrfly, for stopping by. And thanks for the kudos, but I know there is a long way to go ... which brings me to this post.

This one may be a R rated and I've debated whether or not to post it, but I need some help to get past it and haven't been able to come up with a G rated version, although I'll try.

During MLC part 1 I guess h was thought he was being neglectful in certain respects and gave me a rather expensive gift that I suppose he thought would make up for that. I never used it except at his urging because it just wasn't for me. I'll leave it at that.

When here this last time, h said his friend (a guy I know well who lives in yet another country) wanted one of these for his gf and asked if I'd consider selling him mine. Without giving it much thought, I said yes. H told me how much F would pay and said he'd give it all to me. Again, without much thought, I said h had paid for it and I'd split the money.

H took it with him when he left the house that night.

I went to bed and woke up about 4am with the thought that maybe this wasn't for his F and h was taking it back for an OW to use. That's when I began to get suspicious.

I asked h the next day if he had F's address to ship to and h said F was in the process of moving and h was waiting on where to send it. I kept watching our shipments for next few days to see if h shipped it but he didn't.

At that point I asked if h had gotten F's address. H said no, he was still waiting. I continued to watch our shipments, but saw nothing other than our ordinary stuff.

Two days before h left I asked again about getting F's address and h said he didn't have it yet ... that F was busy with the move. I suggested that if h got the address after he left I would be happy to ship it to F. H said he appreciated that, but he'd looked at shipping costs and it was very expensive to ship and it might be cheaper to ship from h's country and he may just take it back with him and ship it from there. H said if he didn't take it back that it was well hidden and no one would find it.

The whole sitch started eating away at me and I debated whether or not to say anything and finally decided to just ask. So on the afternoon before h left I asked if the thing was really for his friend. H remained calm (even though I was basically accusing him of lying) and said it was and that he would even have him take a pic of himself standing next to it and send it to me after he received it.

Today BIL told me h had brought an empty suitcase back with him and I know it would take pretty much a whole suitcase to take this thing back with him. But I also know he was taking back a lot of stuff for friends over there as well as the stuff assistant bought while they were here.

Still, I can't get this image out of my mind of some OW using this gift after me while h watches. It's just creepy to me. I'm trying my best to put the whole thing out of my mind, but haven't been successful.

I keep telling myself that if my suspicions are correct, that this is just part of the MLC craziness, but I can't get the image out of my mind. And I can't get past how creepy it is that h would even do such a thing, if that is indeed what is going on. And I keep thinking that if I'm right, there is not only another OW, but more lies and more deceit on an even more intimate and incredibly hurtful level. That all the nicey-nicey was to throw me off track.

I need some help to push me past this. I can keep standing strong but I sure need to get this out of my head!

Hope that was G rated.