B's Bootcamp v3

[Vanilla]

----Sidebar Question----

2.) A secondary question that is multi-faceted. Obviously my wife has lost complete respect for me, and even in her own words 'emasculated' me. She has threatened court action and taking the kids 100% custody and all of that, as has been previously discussed.

This is going to change very rapidly now. Firstly sobriety and an increase in energy and health will become evident. Becoming a man only a fool would leave. Next as your boundaries become clear you will be stronger.

My question is about how I should be acting from a legal, business, pro-active stance.

Your first stance is a good quality decent L and to follow their advice.

I have been basically taking the stance of 'taking no action' so as not to rush or escalate anything beyond where it should be. However, it has come up a couple of times in conversations with friends, that perhaps I should take pro-active action and seek a lawyer to delineate our separation agreement formally. Does taking the first step on this make a difference?

I am a great believer in a good L. Interview several until you find one you like. They take instruction from you so if you want W to file first then proceed on that basis. A good L is not a therapist keep your instructions straightforward and interactions minimal. Use email as much as you can on everything and save all emails. Most first meetings are free so interview your L. This is the most important thing you can do for you a good L will save you a lot off hassle and cost. Don't do things yourself as it can cost a great deal to unravel.

Also, on the living situation. I know I need to get a bigger place. The complex I'm in is very nice, but it is an apartment complex, which is a step down from living in a house. I signed a 1-year lease, and at this point to cancel that least will cost me two months rent. Not to mention, that in general the 2 or 3 bedroom townhouses that I have found are quite a bit farther away from the kids house. Does anyone think that me simply switching my lease in the current apartment complex from a 1 bedroom unit to a 2 bedroom unit is an inadequate solution for the next 12 months?

If that works then sounds good to me. Any way you could test it?
I'm trying not to make any rash decisions, and want to be financially responsible as much as I can, because I'm honestly worried about what types of expenses I may have depending on how hard my WW and her family come after me.

I am more than ever convinced on the L if only for peace of mind.

So, if I switch to a 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom apartment with a sun-room, that should be adequate for 3 kids in part-time custody right? If not, do you think a 3 bedroom would be adequate? A three bedroom unit would be a lot more expensive and for half the time would be completely overkill. I don't know. Curious to hear your thoughts.

Kids love bunk beds and sharing with dad sometimes. So depends on the space and the kids. How well they get on and space to play and do homework. Most important is the love of dad and his interactions. You would enjoy reading RD500 thread and the interactions has with his kids. Such fun, family film nights and big hugs. The most important thing is hugs and boundaries. Lots of love and I did say hugs didn't I? I tend to mention those a lot.

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One of the best things you can do is fill in your tags at the bottom. My stuff edit profile then at the bottom. It makes it easier for posters to post to you as it memory jogs.

I am so proud of you on the sobriety, not my place to say but I am saying it anyway.

Hugs

V