Well, I played guitar in a band on weekends back then! lol We were so much younger back then and neither of us is really the same as we once were but I get your point. We had our first marriage counseling session today - started ok but quickly deteriorated into examples of fights and both of us stating our perception of what happened etc etc. Didn't go well and the counselor didn't say much other that to observe our interaction. I guess is was good the counselor to see how we behave in real life. My wife and talked in the car on the way home - I was asking her how she was feeling (she was starting to cry) and then she went on about how I change my story with the counselor and she sides with you. The counselor didn't side with anyone (didn't say much at all) but this is the problem, she has her version of our fights and so do I but apparently my version is a lie. I can see that telling my side of the story is going to be tough and met with a lot of interjection from my wife. We each have one on one sessions with the counselor over the next two weeks which will give us the opportunity to air our issues and explain in more detail our background without fear of retaliation from each other. My wife is pretty negative about us right now. Doesn't know if we can pull out of this hole we are in, too much past to deal with, too many bad times between us etc. She is only focused on the negative it seems where I'm a lot of more optimistic that we can pull it together with some help and guidance. I just don't think she will put any effort into working on our relationship, she see's me as all the bad in it, I've done all the wrong etc. But the reality is we both have played our part in the current state of our marriage but she just doesn't ever acknowledge that. If she can't acknowledge her own issues then how can I ever hope for our relationship to recover. Neither of us wants to go back to how things have been over the past few years. I'm starting to wonder if we can ever get back there myself. Then we have the kids to think about - they would be shattered if we split up! Sorry for rambling but my wife is locked up tight emotionally and distant from me and I feel completely helpless to do anything about it. She tends to play the complaining victim mode all of the time and I just don't know how to deal with it.
