I know that is not what you want to hear from her right now, but this is actually overall good news for you. I suggest you accept this for now, and expedite this process as quickly as you can, with the best terms you can get. Not because you want a divorce, but because you want the best situation for you and your kids, whether the eventual outcome is divorce or reconciliation.
Your WW is in la la land right now and only cares about getting to chat in the next 5 minutes and she will give up everything for that fix. She probably even feels guilty, and may want to not take everything from you. However if you slow things down or fight this, she will eventually realize her terrible new reality, her feelings of guilt will be replaced with hatred, and she will fight you tooth and nail.
Basically, I see a lot of guys that want to reconcile, and their instinct is to fight the divorce, sell the farm and give away the kids to try to win back their WW. But that always backfires. Why would a WW want to come back when she has the kids and all your money, when she fought you and won? Well, they dont! They however often do want to come back when they look back at what they threw away and realize it is worth far more than what they have. So you want her to look back at you and see a man with dignity and strength, who is leading the care of his kids and household, is financially stable, and living healthy and fulfilling life. Eventually even she will see that is better than chatting with loser creeps. It doesnt always happen, but more than you may think. Of course, most guys by that point dont want to go back.
