Wow, mind is blown 13

[Uphill]

My mind is now spinning, but in a different way than in the past. Not the "oh my god I'm gonna die..." But in "what is best for me and my son"? I do believe, on his end, he deserves me to give her a chance. To grow up with a true family. I don't know if I can do that now?

[otw]

interesting developments. Keep us posted

[Thornton]

Uphill, this is incredible.

I remember when you were losing your mind over XF and look how the tables have turned.

Now you have a whole new set of things to contemplate and worry about.

I suggest moving very slowly here. If your XF is serious about you and not just jealous, time will show her true intentions.

How do you feel about new girl? Do you see a future with her? How does her personality jive with yours?

[Uphill]

New girl seems great thorn. Nothing physical has ever happened at this point, so far it is mostly over the phone. We have only actually met up a few times. We talk a lot and seem to mesh pretty well. I do see a future there (if that is the path I take)?

XF was actually just on the phone for the past hour plus talking about things, what we had together, reservations she has. I mainly listened. Left some awkward silence when it seemed as if she was waiting for my to chime in. It is just a lot to think about and absorb right now!

[Uphill]

I wish the edit button was back. Hit submit too soon.

At the end of the convo, XF said she doesn't know where she is on things right now. My response to that was, you actions will tell me everything I need to know.

[G8r]

Love your response to XF. Very direct and succinct. Nicely done.

[Uphill]

Wanted to just stop by and say there has been nothing else that happened since my last update. Still just processing all of this and trying to figure myself out before making any moves. I did talk to XF for a bit last evening, all S4 related things, nothing R whatsoever. Her attitude and personality do seem better. She had joked about a few things so towards the end I tossed a little joke out there (basically seeing how it would go over) and got a laugh...

I'm very apprehensive. I don't want to scare the squirrel, at least until I make my own mind up.

[Uphill]

Last night into today, XF has been texting a bit about things not related to S4. I have been slow in responses. Just a few different life things, general chat. I wish I knew if this was the real her showing its face again, or just a cover to try to reel me back in? I am so used to getting one word texts from her that it actually feels weird!

[otw]

yes, it is weird. i try not to think about any of them anymore. i used to get my hopes up, now i just answer and keep moving.

It is all in how you answer and think about it.

I answer the question or make a comment and think nothing of it.

Until i hear words towards R, then i just act as the best i can and my life is just fine.

[Uphill]

The past few days have been very busy. GALing pretty hard this weekend. Had lots of plans and places to be.

XF came to pick up S4 yesterday. The pleasant her has been around for a few days now... She came right out yesterday and said that she is thinking about coming home! I was about to stop her and put a few things in place that I would need to see happen to even consider it on my end, when she actually pretty much said what I was about to.

That turned into about an hour conversation, started by her and mainly led by her. I listened and said very little but didn't show very much of my hand. I don't want to get sucked back onto a rollercoaster so I kept my cards held close to my chest and took it all in.

I honestly think the ball is now in my court to make a move and/or make a decision.