Divorce Remedy is a more updated book of Divorce Busting. Could you have it mailed to your work address or a friend's house?
If you will read the links that Cadet posted, it will be very helpful. And not to toot my horn, but if you will read my threads about the mindset of a WW, I think it might give you a clearer picture of where to begin and what needs to be addressed. I have also started another thread about WW's called, Sandi's Reflections. It may help if you read this one first.
Would you say your W gets too aggressive (bully like) toward you, or does she have more of a passive/aggressive type of personality? Does she pretty much call the shots around the house, in the MR, with the kids, and what the family does?
What about you? Do you avoid conflict, and feel that it's easier to just let her have her way? Do you keep your mouth closed and your opinions to yourself, thinking you are keeping the peace? Have you been trained to adjust to whatever mood she may having when you go home from work? Does she work outside of the home?
I don't know if you have any preconceived ideas about DBing, but I can assure you it is not for wimps. Now, there are some wimpy men who try to see it as some soft-soap remedy they can use, instead of rolling up their sleeves and doing the heavy lifting that is ahead of them. DBing is not for sissies.
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To help me get through the next few weeks, is there an outline of the things I should and shouldn't be doing so I don't do something stupid (like breakdown in front of my wife)?
Actually, Sandi's 37 Rules will help give you the do's and don'ts of your actions right now. If you have any questions about any, please don't hesitate to ask for clarification. They are more like bullet points and so not have much details attached.
Okay, so about the only excuse your W is giving you is that she has lost attraction for you. Am I right about that part? Did she zone in on any particular area?
Don't know what your MC may want to have you do. Usually they want to put the couple into pursuit mode, spending more time together, having date nights, etc. They can give contrary advice from what the H will get in DBing and it can cause him confusion. We are here to give you (not your W, just you) tools to use in saving this M. You don't need to show her your toolbox, b/c the tools will be less effective if you tell her.
Don't expect much of anything from your W at the counseling session, except to sound off about you. I don't think she will be there to see what it is that she should do to save the M. She may have more of an attitude that the you are the one broken and needs to be fixed, or everything wrong in the MR is your fault. Some women even use that time to announce that she will be filing for divorce. Whatever happens, do not freak out.
Please stay in close contact with us and read as much as you can in between classes or whatever.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
