Our Hs do sound very similar Rednail. When he first moved out I left the house or at least the room whenever he came round but it got to the point where he was staying longer and longer and I would just never see the kids myself! I'm not sure what the answer is. Now I either make myself busy or sit in the room with them but H may as well not be there. He doesn't interact with the kids at all, doesn't even say hello when he walks in. It feels like he only comes round to stop himself feeling guilty, he certainly doesn't seem bothered about actually spending some quality time with the kids doing something.
Irish, I thought a lot about this comment:
Originally Posted By: IrishM
Our life is continuing as it did but without STBXW. With love and support to each other. We were unbelievably close as a family of 4, now were are even closer as a family of 3.
It is sad, but when I look back, the kids and I have always been an unbelievably close family of 3 with H just tagging along when he wasn't working. I seem to be doing a lot of reflecting about the past, and when I look back, H has never really done anything with the kids of his own initiative and never wanted to organise anything that was child friendly. He would suggest things like going to a large shopping centre for the day and then wonder why the kids were bored rigid and complaining after an hour. It makes me feel sad that really, nothing has changed except that we don't look for H coming through the door when he's finished work.
Valentine's Day we thought H would come round in the morning before he went to work - he text at lunch saying he'd only just got up so wouldn't be coming before work. I wonder if he just couldn't face me on Valentine's Day.
Yesterday the kids and I were out all day, we had a great time. We left early and at around 10am I got a text from H asking if we were in so he could come round. It feels like we're playing a game and I scored a little point for being out when he wanted to come. It feels so wrong to be making a game out of life.
Not sure what we're going to do today yet, we have a couple of choices up our sleeves. Think H is off work the next couple of days but no word from him about doing anything with the kids while they're off school. I refuse to sit around waiting on the off chance of him coming round though, so have lots of ideas for just me and the kids. Wonder when H will realise how much of his children's lives he is missing. I don't know how he does it, I know I couldn't. Maybe it just proves he is ill right now.
