Inevitable always happens

[keefa]

Devils advocate...
Yes, a mobile phone was something stbx and I had discussed. I had always assumed responsibility in our relationship for buying and sorting tech etc. And this was her suggestion a month or so ago. There is no ambiguity. It is a power thing. But lets look at the bigger picture. Whether she see's it a threat or not, she is denying me reasonable communication and contact. period.

No, during our separation, until the last month of living together (chrismas week aside) we had functioned as a family, taking days out together etc. We had historically always seen eye to eye on the kids and I cannot remember ever disagreeing on their upbringing. I never, not in a million years believed she would be causing me to fight to see them. I just didn't think it would happen. Many statements like ' you can see them when ever you like, you can always come over to do baths etc' So yes I am behind on my 'legal' fight to have access. Yes my fault for accepting what was said.

To be frank, I find it slightly offensive to suggest that SHE has any reasons I cannot see my children. I am of course defensive on this but I know I am and always have been a good father. There is NO reason I should be denied access. none. If she doesn't want me, wants out, then ok. But I do not level with it being her choice if the children do or do not see their father.
If she is bitter or resentful because I am GAL then it would make sense to me. I do not know if this is the case but it sure feels like it. She has nothing on me in that sense. I cook, play, act happy, build, fix, clean and so on and she knows it. The only thing she has on me is power over my access to the children. This is being played out in a text book manner.

I have no expectations of her behaviour but I am still allowed to feel emotions when she behaves in a certain way towards me and the effect it might have on our childrem just as I would feel emotions if a stranger let the door close in my face.

I am seeing my L tomorrow morning and yes I have a long list of points to raise including holidays, access, contact and so on.
My L does not seem to be pushing for anything. I cannot afford to change so I am having to make the best of what I have.

I welcome being challenged Azzork and thank you for taking the time to do so. I have tried to be open and honest with how I feel and the position I am in. Please accept that I am ion no way offended by anything written here and I hope my sitch proves helpful to others as well as myself.

I've not heard from stbx, her L or my L regarding access this week during half term. Meeting tomorrow. I will continue to fight.