Rednail 3.0- Is there OW now?!

[Painter]

Yes I talked to a L. He said I could get alimony, child support, daycare etc etc. I just KNOW my h cant afford that and keep this house and his car and all the bills.

I honestly do not know what will happen if he proceeds with the divorce. He doesn't want to use lawyers but I also do not want to be screwed over.

He can be very mean at times and I wonder if he even knows it. I will have to do that. I usually say nothing because I do not want to fight so maybe telling him something then walking away can be a new boundary instead of sitting there quietly.

He tests me alot.. He will text me just to see if I still will come to the room if he asks me to. He will ask him if I'll make him a sandwich while Im making the kids a sandwich and myself one so it is not hard to make an extra one and then be all shocked and make a smart assy comment such as..wow you will make your estranged husband a sandwich still!

I struggle to find the balance of being nice without doing too much. I feel like he really tests me and i do not know why. It drives me nuts. I'm always a caring, sweet, person so it is hard to know how much is too much when I'm already doing 80% less then usual.

1) It is not your problem if he can't afford to leave you. He's the one who wants a D, not you - so there is no reason for you to enable him.

You are not planning on moving out, I hope?

My H changed his tune when he realized what it would cost him to split. He suddenly decided he wanted to work on the M after all. I think it's like they have an idea of quitting their job and going to live on a paradise island - then they realize that it actually costs money to do that and they actually have to continue working.

2) About the meanness... I have a few thoughts: It could be a lack of respect, or, he could be so insecure about anyone loving him that he has to keep testing you and pushing you away (did anyone important leave him earlier in his life? Or was he not close to one of his parents?)

Or, he could be trying to bait you to maintain the notion that you are bad so he is justified in leaving. Do you think either of those fit? You know him best, and it also depends on if it just started or he's always done it.