Still need to sit down to a computer and write you a nice reply to your stuff. Anywho, my H had the same realization with money. He did the child support calculation and "discovered" it would be 700$ a month, plus alimony. He was in such a hurry to get out on his own...and then he pumped the brakes and realized how DUMB that would be. *eyeroll* Seriously, they need to sloooowww it down. They're aliens. They see this finish line in sight and want to race for it ignoring the 10ft hurdles.
You know, I feel like I'm being tested too. With those little things, laundry, food etc. I still do things to be nice, and because they're of no inconvenience to me BUT I will not let him baby me. I said to him today he doesn't get to baby me anymore when he was trying to help me with stuff. If he's flat out telling you he's testing you, I wonder if he expects you to get upset and stop (=power/control). What if you just do what you do and don't over think it? Just smile and carry on! That's what I'm focusing on. So what if we're nice people, that doesn't mean we're not necessarily detached...these traits in us we shouldn want to change. Now, I don't think making an extra sandwich if you're up there doing it is too much. If I'd do it for a friend I think it's justifiable. :]
Don't sweat it girl, every day is a fresh start. Men have crap memories anyways. Small consistent efforts, over time....to help ourselves. It'll pay off for US!
