So a fury of emotions and posts today. Went to get the kids and the R talk started. W informed me she was going to be filing for an uncontested D and that she didn't want anything other then a few basic things. I wanted so bad to beg for counseling, plead for another chance or try something but I didn't. I tried to validate her, but think it was not the best. She wanted to argue but I controlled the situation. i tried to prepare for this, but it was so surreal. I guess that D doesn't mean its the end, but I know that she will be with other men and that hurts. I know that other men will be a part of my kids life and that hurts.
I know that I will be ok, but this is not the life I want. This is however the life I have and I guess I will make the best of it. She is flexible with custody, but I feel like that is just so she can have less responsibility and to do what she wants.
The things I wanted to do or say in my posts earlier today, I didn't. It just won't make a difference. She is done and now i must go to LRT and let her go. Let her go to find what she is looking for. Let her go so I can find myself.
I am thankful for this group and all the people who have been here to help me get through this so far. I know there is a long hard road still to go, but it is not the one that I thought i was on. Not sure why though
I guess this doesn't really change things beside the boundaries that I need to define. I wish I found this place one month earlier, but I know god has his plans for everyone and hope I can share this resource with others before it gets to late.
I will not give up on her!
"and now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is Love"
