When I first met New Guy I lost myself inside my own head for a while. Everyone who knew me IRL told me to quit overthinking everything and to have more patience. Once I stopped panicking about having met a guy I liked and started backing off, things transformed. It was like I'd made room for him. Now we know more of what's going on in each other's lives and we can respond to each other more meaningfully. He only just recently started checking in every day (we've been seeing one another almost three months) but when he does, it's always sharing something. We don't text good night usually just to say good night, but it's typically part of an ongoing conversation.
I still have a hard time believing he thinks I bring something of value to the table, but I'm working on it and he is emotionally mature enough to handle it. But I didn't identify that well on my own. I had to share his ideas with my friends and hear them comment that way. I've never been in a relationship in which we were both trying to be healthy. It feels very different. And I appreciate how he's helping me grow.
I don't think it's unhealthy to ask for help, but be sure you choose your wingmen wisely. I think you're stuck in your own head and it's going to take a big effort to pull yourself out. And I think you should keep an eye out for the people who help you become a calmer, more relaxed person. You should not feel so unworthy. You're not!!
may I suggest a calming practice? Lost all the things you're grateful for, each day. At the end of the list, add "I'm grateful for the time I spent with XBF. He was a good reminder to me to trust my gut. I'm grateful for that reminder and I will put it into practice as I move forward in my WONDERFUL life."
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
