I saw a lot of myself in those posts. I think you are right about a great many things in there. In my short time on these boards, it was usually the guys who took a stand that had more success (of the top of my head... Squiggy). And I believe you outlined the reasons why.
Me: 32 W: 29 T:8 M: 6 D4 S2 M - 8/2008 W is not happy - 1/2014 W wants D - 9/2014 W moved out - 11/2014 D filed - 1/23/2015 D'ed - 2/25/2015 Gave X the Letter - 11/10/2015