KGirl - new life, new stuff

[KGirl]

Thanks, Maybell. I am really having trouble getting out of my own head on this one. One of my office mates asked me how my weekend was and I just burst out crying instead of answering. Sigh. I maybe made a mistake and in trying to analyze/fix/whatever, went and posted in a different relationship-related online forum asking if this guy was just not that into me/not available, or if I was being needy. The vast majority of responses I got back were things like:
-too much pressure
-checking in daily is way too much for that early in a relationship
-you're not living together, why do you feel like you need to know his whereabouts when you're not together? that's suffocating
-sounds like you were holding this guy accountable to you like a parent, that would drive me nuts
-sometimes we want to give other people or alone time with ourselves a priority and not be questioned about it - if you can't handle a boyfriend prioritizing you sometimes and not others, you need to work on that or you'll keep pushing healthy people away.

Jeebus. Then I go to a place of "well if I didn't know I was being smothering and crazy at the time... and actually thought I was doing a pretty good job of being autonomous and not dependent on someone... how will I ever know??" and it feels insurmountable. But also these people on this forum could be like 19 year old single people who have never been in a relationship. You all here are I would like to think more mature having been down the LTR road and actually want to fix relationships so I would hope have a better idea Still stings like crazy though. It's like I can't move on and try and find the positive in things because I want to punish myself until I "get it." And what does it say about me that I keep wanting to rely on other's opinions to tell me what happened here?