LOL " Glide Along". It was not so in the beginning. I was just surviving. This website was a map. A map to a life I wanted for myself....but I had to go through all the steps from denial to acceptance just like everyone here. It's not a free ride, but a ride worth taking.
I come here when I have time. I feel this life is a gift and the gift is people like the ones you meet on this site....So I choose to pay it forward, As much for my soul as it is a benefit to the ones just entering MLC land.
My time lines are probably hazy. After you GAL and your life moves on in a productive, happy, content manner time really doesn't mean much. For the record I did stand for probably two years.
My EXW, had the affair, lied basically every day while she was in the house, left me, the kids(then 18,15,11) and set out to live her own life. Not the life we had enslaved her to(her words). She told me the reason we were getting divorced was I took her to this pizza joint too much and she had to pick out my clothes. Needless to say that is quite the laugher for me now!!!
She did file, we divorced. It got ugly in court because I stood my ground. She wanted to have everything her way.(boy do I have stories, lol). It was the spoiled teenager routine. With DB it's easy to set boundaries now. You realize what a benefit this is in your life in many ways.
It's now approx 7 years later. Our children(2 adults now) see their mother in a truer light. Occasionally we speak about EXW but it is in relation to people losing there way in life and what are some of the things they can do now to address their internal life and come face to face with some things now so they may not be as problematic as they get older.
I really appreciate life. It's comedic at times. It's sad at times. It's happy at times. If you take time to learn the lessons taught here it really changes your life. I've had some major things happen in my life. As I look back now, that is just life and they all represented major learning opportunities.
I am a success story. My marriage was not saved. My EXW 7 yrs later still spews much venom. I do not fall into the trap. We do not co-parent. I tried for the first 3-4 yrs but you can't parent with someone still in MLC land. She does things that make you shake your head. It's best for me to stay out of the way and live my life. Our kids know if they want a relationship with her it's up to them. Not my issue.
I chose to be a rock in my kids life for the first 6 yrs afterward. I thought it was the right thing to do and if you hear them talk it definitely was.
The best advice I can give is to get your own life. Lead your children by example(they do watch) and teach them tools in dealing with adversity. This life truly is a gift but only if you have a positive mindset.
