Great stuff Sandi. Thanks for such depth. Wouldn't alot of this apply to WAW also? I mean even though WAW may not have acted I would bet that most have thought about affairs and that would be a prompt for wanting out. So for us H's waiting for them to come around, they could be playing us just like WW do. I guess GAL is as much about gaining your respect for yourself as it is for WAW or WW respecting you. But you TRULY have to GAL for yourself and NOT to win back spouse. That is very difficult.
Thank you! Yes, a lot of it would be applicable to a WAW situation, just as MWD tells in her book. The reason the W walked away would probably determine what the H would do. When I think of a woman, who has no ill intent in her heart, leaving her M behind and waking away broken hearted and defeated.........I picture a woman who is in pain and/or sees no hope in things ever getting better. There are cases where the H is just too awful to live with, and she can't take it any more. It just seems that the majority of the stories that come here involve a wayward spouse.
I also think that ocassionally there are some women who leave that are just really discouraged and believe they could be happier starting over, or whatever, that has no signs of waywardness. I think these women may few and far apart......but I believe they exist.
Whenever I think in terms of a woman "playing" her H, I see hints of a wayward wife. She may not be riotous or in an A, but she might be completely selfish, spoiled, and have a sense of entitlement. Hey, there some real b'tches who are not in affairs.
But don't confuse this with a woman who has sorrowfully given up on her H ever contributing to the MR and walks away b/c she has lost all hope. She would not be "playing" him b/c she is done with him. Her H would probably have to make some life long changes before she would be convinced they were legit. If all her attraction for him had faded, he may have to work hard and long to get that back again. However, it is what is in her heart that led her to leave him that determines if she was wayward or if she is a hurting WAW.
In my mind the two types are easy to distinguish, but that doesn't mean I am that great and explaining it the differences.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
