People do not understand what MLC is about, so, until they walk a mile in your shoes, they will continue to think differently and say move on. Unfortunately, it's not easy when the MLCer continues to pop in and out along the way. You may need to cease the conversations with your family and friends. I would suggest that you take one or two close friends under your wing and bounce things off of them. Family and friends mean well because they want to see you happy...take what they say w/a grain of salt.
Yes, the MLCer will watch you when he thinks you aren't aware of it. He still feels safe in texting you...this is good.
I'm glad you had an enjoyable time w/your daughters and I'm also glad they talked you into purchasing something for yourself. Sometimes we need a little bit of retail therapy to make us feel better.
As for what your brother said, he's spot on. Many of them need to go thru the divorce process (or think they do) to built on a new foundation. Even though the divorce is just a piece of paper, they need to cut all ties of responsibility and accountability w/us in order to move along the path. I do understand how you felt when your brother said that...but it's not about you at all...it's about him and what he needs to do to heal those childhood wounds and start growing up. You didn't break him, therefore, you can't fix him. Again, his crisis is all about HIM and there is absolutely nothing you did to start his crisis, nor can you rush him along. It's a marathon, not a sprint when it comes to the MLCer working through it. Their clocks are on a very, very slow time warp.
Continue to read about MLC and keep the focus on you and your daughters. Leave your h in the hands of the man above.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
