I get that you are feeling pain and feeling really low especially on Valentine's Day not hearing from W. We all have been your shoes. Not a fun place to be at all.
You got sucked back in and reeled in like a fish when you and W last talked. The sole purpose, from her POV, was to merely temp check to make sure you're still right where she wants you to be. All WASes who are in A want to keep all options open. That should tell you right off bat how messed up in their heads they are when deep in affair fog.
From where I am sitting, you are VERY reactive. As you know from experience, that never went well for you. Trust us when we tell that DBing really does work when properly applied. Sending that text screams of a very needy and insecure person. It sounded like you were trying to audition for her affections. Trying to reason and remind W of how it "used" to be never works. What you're doing here in essence is ARGUING with W's POV telling her that "she's wrong."
That will set you back 10 steps like the Candyland game. You know how the game is played. You go up the ladder and then you make misstep...down you do on the BIG SLIDE. Back to square one.
For the love of God, STOP texting W. For real. You say that you know W better than we do, how's that working out for you so far? You're still here. For once, I really wish you would apply the advice we say here and STICK with it.
You were doing really well. UNTIL. That talk with W last week. Boom! All of your hard work has gone down the drain.
Sometimes you frustrate me when you say that you will try to follow the advice and you DON'T "because we don't understand W like you do." Let me tell you this. We DBErs understand DB and have applied these principles to great success because we've followed the advice to the letter.
DBing is a road map for you and you just can't go off on the reservation because "I want to see and talk with W!"
I warned you from the beginning that in all the years I've been on DB site, I've NEVER, NEVER seen a DBer reconcile with their WAS under 6 months. Yeah, RT reconciled with her wife after 9 months...a rarity. The average is 1 to 2 years. This is a tough, hard, and LOOONG slog. You're expecting miracles to happen only 2 months into DB and W is still very HEAVILY engaged in an A.
Forget about reconciling. Forget about W's words because she's all talk...there's no walk to back it up. Talk is cheap. Stop letting your emotions get the upper hand for they've not served you well at all. Time to use your Spock hat.
Get busy living. When W calls you, just simply say, "W, before you go any further: Are you still with OW? Then there's nothing to talk about. Bye."
