well, the inevitable always happens. Dropped boys off on time outside a supermarket as 'ordered'. I'd got my eldest a new phone sim card to use on an old phone I had so we could text and share pics etc. he was over the moon to have whatsapp etc. The last message I got was him in tears because it was taken away from him by her for absolutely no reason at all.
Im not saying that this isnt true. But I know I felt a lot of injustice at 9 about things I didnt think were fair. Just take care not to go off on her based on the words of a 9 year old.

She is also denying me access again this week and it is half term.
Id like to understand this a bit more as Im not sure youve said. What exactly do you mean by "denying access"? For example, I have my kids 50%, but I cant just waltz over to get them when she has custody over them. Can you describe this a little more?

I am utterly sickened that a so called good mother would use children as an emotional tool, take away their contact with their Daddy. I am so angry. so so angry. She didn't say hello or even look at me when I dropped the boys off.
So what are you REALLY angry about? What does her not saying 'hello' to you have to do with the boys?

This is not a sane person I am dealing with.
Well. No. Clearly.

My L seem to be next to useless. All they do is relay stbx's demands and I seem to have to comply like a good little boy.
What do you mean 'have to'? What if you DONT comply?

This [censored] so much. I'm not so down as I was but how can this be right. it is so frustrating and I i'm exasperated. She had the bloody affair, all I want is to see my children.
I get it. But she has just as much right to them. I dont know, but it READS like you want the kids, but moreso, you want your FAMILY UNIT reconstructed.

I know for me, I was a 30-40% parent 100% of the time before BD. Now, I get to be a 90-100% parent 50% of the time. And if XW is doing that too, then I like to think the kids will be better off.

Yes, I miss having the family unit. I miss the kids when they arent with me. But that doesnt mean I cant make my time with them memorable.