Originally Posted By: NYGal
I'm just so disappointed because on Friday she said she wanted to reconcile, that she wished she could dial back the clock to a year ago, and that she loves me. Then nothing.

Thats why rule 32 exists!

Originally Posted By: NYGal
I don't feel strong enough to do this. I want an answer now. I hate waiting. If she's done with me she should say so.

Nobody feels strong enough at the start of anything. Anything that you do takes training and practice. Just like training your muscles, you have to train your brain. Saying "it's too hard" doesnt mean anything, because you really dont have much of a choice. The advice youve been getting will help push the process forward for YOU without making things worse with W.

Think of it this way. Youve been (likely unknowingly) digging a hole in your relationship for years. So to fix this hole, what are the steps?

1) stop digging! - this is the focus of a lot of the rules. Stop pursuing (like sending "sweet" texts), stop arguing, stop pleading, etc, etc.

2) climb out of the hole! - you cant do anything while your stuck in the hole! So take care of yourself, get a life, act as if, etc, etc. This is to build yourself back into the best version of you.

3) only THEN can you start filling the hole back in. And by then, you may not want to. Or she may still not want you to. We'll cross that bridge when we get there.

But no matter what, you cant start filling in the hole until youve done steps 1 and 2.