I apologize for not posting sooner. Did not have any alone time to be able to update.
W decided to stay here for her visit with the boys and we are going to MC tomorrow.
This past weekend has been up and down. W and I had fun together. We went out to dinner on Thursday and had a good time at a new restaurant that we had not been to.
Friday was her day to spend with the boys while I was working.
Saturday and Sunday kind of went back to our normal routine.
W has been up and down about things. She is not happy she is back but says she is doing it for the sake of the boys.
We have conversations about the boys and our R and each time she talks about it she blames everything on me.
I am still validating her comments and working on my 180s. Things seem to be going well but have a long road ahead.
She starts to explain to me that all she wanted was space and for me to pursue her and the boys and be in Toronto together as a family.
Many things she stated are clear to me now but were not 2 months ago.
She has committed to spend more time in Michigan but stated she will need certain weekends off to go back to Toronto. I was surprised she offered this up but praised her for the decision she made to come raise the boys knowing that she does not want to live in Michigan any more.
She stated that she thought that when we adopted the boys that she would be ok with just being a mom but she admitted she needs more than that. I was supportive and told her I understood and will support her in her new endeavors however I can.
She continues to question the R but also speaks positively about things for the sake of the boys. That we will be moving into the new house together as a family.
She also stated she felt like a horrible person to me. She was upset and started crying because she stated that she needed to untangle some relationships back in Toronto.
I asked her if there was anything I should know about? She asked "what would you like to know?" I stated that maybe we should table the details for another time. So we just left it at her admitting that she has gone out and "dated" at least 2 if not more OMs.
One in particular she admitted was pressuring her a lot. She stated she would need to return the necklace he gave her. I played it off like "OK understand".
W is a psychology major and has made a lot of valid points about my reactions to things in the past that have made a negative contribution to the R. The good thing is she sees that I am changing. I just hope that I can continue to do this and give her the comfort level she is looking for sometime down the road. At this point she is still very angry with me as she continues to blame me for keeping her away from her baby and states she will never forgive me for that.
How do you get someone to forgive?
Apologize for being long winded, I will post more specific sitches in the future.
H-46 XW-38 T-7 M-6 S-9,8,8,6,4 S 11/30/15, I filed 12/8/15 EA 2/1/16 D dismissed 3/24/16 PA 3/18/16 confirmed 4/22/16 XW files for D 4/1/16 - D final 11/17/16 Finally moving forward...
